All toilets

A Virgin Megastore-Union Square (3.67/5)

52 E 14th St , New York, NY 10003

Unleash the artist in you when taking a break from perusing the magazines & the music. Make sure to bring your own Sharpie or spray paint. Obviously no one cares what you do here so you're pretty much set with whatever you wanna do.

B Conservatory Garden, Central Park (1.00/5)

1000 5th Avenue, New York City, New York 10028

Perhaps the best public toilet to be found in Central Park. Unlike the one near Sheep Meadow, which has incredibly long lines on beautiful Sundays when people are sipping their illegal wine and beer, the Conservatory Gardens draws the more geriatric and slow moving crowd. Unlike the Sheep Meadow which is used for frisbee and football throwing, the purpose of the Conservatory is to reflect and admire the pools of water, large koi, and fauna which is by nature a more solitary activity. On the particular Fall afternoon that I visited, half of the people were in wheelchairs of groups of two and three and the other half were singles and of these the majority were of the older set. While incontinence tends to set in with growing maturity, this still does not offset the sheer number of people that use Sheep Meadow on a good day, plus the speed at which the collegiate-type groups and consume and metabolize alcohol. While being in less use which equates to being more clean, the Conservatory also has more dedicated personnel to upkeep the premises. There were several groundskeepers there to prune and keep the shrubbery in angular shapes whereas the Sheep Meadow is just one big lawn that requires it being mowed. Also being a space that is rented out for weddings and events, the bathrooms I assume would have to be decent enough for people dressed in fancy clothes to use. As you can see, it is a far superior bathroom.

C Bryant Park (3.67/5)

9 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036

This is a full-fledged public toilet, but it is hands down the nicest one I have ever had the pleasure of using. Fresh flowers, soft music, elegant decor, sparkling clean. On a busy day, you'll face a line, but trust me: it is worth it.

D Utsav Festive India Restaurant? (3.00/5)

1185 6th avenue, New York, NY 10036

The restaurant is in the plaza area a few steps west from 6th avenue between 46th and 47th street. Reaching this bathroom will take cunning and confidence (and karma) but if you play it right you will be sitting pretty. The bathrooms are on the second floor (where the dining room is) to the right of the top of the staircase. Walk upstairs as if you're there to eat, and if you get questioned by the host you can just say you were down at the bar, which is on the bottom floor. This one gets an accessibility rating of 1 because of the risk factor involved.

E Columbus Park (3.00/5)

70 Baxter Street, New York, NY 10013

Columbus park is a small public park just a block south from the detestation that is Canal Street so these bathrooms (there are 2 sets, one in the northeast side of the Pavilion and one further south) provide excellent refuge if your walking pals are on an endless mission to buy a small turtle in China Town. They are the average public park bathrooms - well kept but vaguely sketchy.<br /><br />Incidentally, Columbus Park the best place in the city to watch Chinese men play heated games of "Xiangqi" aka "Chinese Chess".

F Maui Taco (4.00/5)

330 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10001

If the line for the neighboring Starbucks bathroom is too long, pop into Maui Taco right next door. There is a unisex one person bathroom on the main floor and one downstairs, which is the preferred one. You have walk in kinda fast so you don't look suspicious though — or use the "fake out" technique and walk to the counter as if you're going to order but suddenly remembered some forgotten defecatory urges. Special note: they have an item called "The Dump" on the menu.

G Madison Square Park Toilet Box (1.00/5)

Madison Avenue and 23rd street, New York City, New York 10010

The self cleaning toilet machine that cost 1 million smackers. Usage cost: $.25 per 15 minute usage. Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcn/2371549241/

H Museum of Sex (4.00/5)

233 5th Ave, New York, NY 10016

In the gift shop, pretend to go in looking at the gift shop stuff and then slink into the WC.

I Barnes & Noble (Union Sq) (3.00/5)

33 East 17th Street, New York City, New York 10003

Second floor, a great resource!

J Tiffany & Co (4.33/5)

727 5th Ave, New York, NY 10022

It is worth taking the elevator to the repairs floor for this marbled experience. It is sure to impress! Don't let the presence of the lift operator discourage you, they are among the most friendly in the city. "... it felt like I was crapping in a museum built just for me ... a marbled blessing in midtown." <br />

K Manhattan Mall (3.67/5)

100 West 33rd Street, New York, NY 10001

The Manhattan Mall, one of the few traditional indoor malls in New York City, has public restrooms in the middle of Manhattan. There are entrances to the 34th Street-Herald Square subway station and the 33rd Street PATH station on the second basement level. <br /><br />The restroom is located on the lower level past the food court.

L ABC Carpet & Home (4.67/5)

888 Broadway, New York City, New York 10003

Mens and womens' restrooms on the 2nd, 4th & 6th floors. Elevator (to the right of the main entrance) and stair access. The womens' restrooms are clean and well-furnished, and even include fancy chandeliers and accessories that are of course available for purchase. The place is so huge that no one would blink if you just stopped in to use the restrooms. Except if maybe you looked like a total bum-- 'cause this place is fancy.

M Arctica Bar and Grill (4.00/5)

384 3rd ave, New York City, New York 10016

The secret to this one is to head downstairs to the Ice Bar where there are high quality toilets. The entrance to the downstairs bar is to the right, a few steps from the front door - and the bathrooms to immediately to the right once you get to the bottom of the stairs so you can get there without getting noticed. There are also bathrooms farther back in the main bar on the ground level.

N B&H Photo (3.33/5)

349 West 34th street, New York City, New York 10001

B&H Photo's Superstore is awesomely horrible - tons of great merchandise, tons of customers and one good quality bathroom located on the bottom floor along the back wall. One warning: you are required to check your bag upon entry to the store (free) which is never a problem but is sometimes a hassle. Also note the irregular hours due to the observance of the Sabbath.

O Nurse Bettie (2.67/5)

106 Norfolk St , New York, NY 10002

Nurse Bettie could be good for a late night piss if you're out in the area. The bar is small and you potentially will have to present ID to get in — and once you're in there may be a line due to there being only one private toilet.

P Bed Bath and Beyond (4.00/5)

620 6th Ave, New York City, New York 10011

Getting to this toilet could not be easier. When you enter the store one of the first things you see is a sign pointing to the bathroom which is located on the left. There are plenty of stalls as well as baby changing stations and it is cleaned on a regular basis.

Q Astor Wines & Spirits (3.67/5)

399 Lafayette St, New York City, New York 10003

The bathroom is located behind the sales desk toward the back of the store. Its a private room, generally clean, almost always available and only one block from Starbucks' nightmare on Astor Place.

R Bull & Bear (Waldorf Astoria) (4.67/5)

570 Lexington Ave, New York, NY 10022

Located inside the Bull & Bear, the Waldorf Astoria's stock-broker-old-man-steak-house, these bathrooms represent the best of the best in semi-public toilets. Class, elegance, cleanliness, and privacy. Each stall has floor to ceiling wood doors and only two stalls (in the mens) guarantees maximum seclusion. Marble floors, gold faucet hardware, and real towels. Basically, this bathroom is nicer than the one in your apt. The only downside is that you probably can't breeze in here with a ripped t-shirt and jeans or the staff might think something's up. Wearing a suit or rich-casual attire will keep you from being noticed. The bathrooms are located in the far right corner, just before the dining room. Some other fun info about the B&B: The bartenders are super cool. Most of them have worked there for 20+ years, and they know how to take care of you. They make you feel like you're Frank Sinatra, and some of them even waited on Mr. Sinatra. Although a stella costs $9.21, which sucks. But the service and vibe almost make it worth it. The food is also really good, although also overpriced, even for New York standards. Finally, while having a nightcap at the bar last night I discovered it's a great place to meet classy and very attractive hookers. Is it weird I feel flattered when I'm propositioned by good-looking hookers? How low is my self-esteem? Also, why am I always being propositioned by hookers? Do I look rich or do I look like I need to pay for sex? So many difficult questions...<br />

S Cafe Habana (3.33/5)

17 Prince St, New York, NY 10012

This one gets lower privacy and accessibility scores for one reason and one reason only - it's quite possibly the SMALLEST toilet space in NYC. I'm sure you're asking "how small is it?"....well...this is how small.<br /><br />When using the facilities, I need to stand over the top of the toilet, close the sliding pocket door behind me by reaching behind my back and then peeing straight down - that's right....straight down. You can't back up, you're pinned in and peeing straight down!<br /><br />Trust me.....you owe it to yourself to try this one out!

T Cafe Noir (4.33/5)

32 Grand St, New York City, New York 10013

Good old Cafe Noir. Toilets are located in the back, past the bar area. On the weekends or a weeknight the place is pretty crowded. No one will ever notice you're just there for bathroom business. On a weekday before 6ish, it's a little more difficult not be noticed, but completely doable. Just head straight past the bar area like you're meeting someone in the back. Bathrooms are definitely worth it. Clean, 100% private and the ambiance is top notch. Also, the tapas at this place are pretty slamming. And they serve this olive oil with crush red paper and garlic with the bread that is really amazing. I often find myself loading up bread am stuffed before the meal comes. Totally amateur move, I know.

U Chipotle (Park Avenue & 31st street) (5.00/5)

464 Park Ave S, New York City, New York 10016

Where to begin... this one of the finest Chipotle restaurants in existence and the bathrooms follow suit in all categories of concern. There is a single unisex bathroom on the main floor but the real treat is located up the stairs on the second floor which is devoted entirely to two private bathrooms - one male, one female. During busy hours there is sure to be a line of some kind but the wait is worth it for the blissful privacy you will experience here.

V Coffee Shop (3.67/5)

29 Union Sq. West, New York, NY 10003

When I lived nearby, I used to spend almost every Saturday in the back bar drinking their amazing bloody marys, reading the paper, and doing serious work on their toilets. The mens room is pretty tight, but is usually clean and only has one stall so you never have to endure someone else's brand. However the main reason why this place rocks is that the bathrooms are located in between the main bar and the back bar, so if you come in off the street, no one can tell you're just here to duece bigalow. And it's always crowded (the bars, not he bathrooms) so you can come and go pretty much unnoticed.

Dinosaur Bar-B-Que (3.33/5)

646 W. 131st St., New York, NY 10027

The toilets at Dinosaur are located in two places, both bearing red doors. The men's room is inside and to the right, tucked away beyond the bar and the women's room is farther towards the back, basically a straight shot forward from the entrance. The bathrooms are clean with multiple stalls and sufficient sinks with quality hand soap. The restaurant and bar are often times packed with people waiting or drinking so it will be easy to blend in among the patrons if you're only there for the facilities. <br /><br />p.s. They have the best bbq chicken wings I've ever had.

Bank of America (1.00/5)

120 East 34th St. , New York City, New York 10016

Great place to pee.

Angelica Film Center (3.67/5)

18 W. Houston, New York, NY 10012

The restrooms are located in the café area, which is open to everyone regardless of whether you have a ticket or not.

Dunkin Donuts (2nd Ave & 33rd street) (3.33/5)

601 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10016

A rare Dunkin Donuts bathroom! Most Dunkins in the city abstain from providing one. It's a one person unit located on the north end of the store, on the side closest to the wheelchair ramp. It says "customers only" but it doesn't seem to be enforced too well.

ESPN Zone (5.00/5)

1472 Broadway, New York, NY 10036

Clean, private stalls with personal TV's for bathroom goers enjoyment. Located on first Floor not to far from street entrance, my personal favorite in the Times Sq. area.

Guitar Center (14th st) (4.00/5)

25 W. 14th Street, New York, NY 10011

Hidden away in the basement of Guitar Center, this little known spot is a musician's public bathroom utopia. It features a well scrubbed decor, 1 stall, 1 urinal, sink, mirror, and very low foot traffic. You don't have to ask for permission to use it, but probably won't be able to find it unless you do (which boosts it's privacy rating). It's also far enough from the sales floor that if you drop some serious heat, you won't have to do the walk of shame.

Hop Devil Grill (and bar) (4.00/5)

129 St. Marks Place, New York, NY 10009

Hop Devil is an East Village bar that is best known for it's extensive and eclectic beer selection but it also contains 2 private unisex bathrooms that are kept fairly clean. Toilets are in the back and to the far left, beyond the bar.

Housing Works Bookstore Cafe (3.67/5)

126 Crosby St, New York City, New York 10012

No problem using this facility, go past counter and stairs and make a right. Spacious clean bathrooms. This store provides direct services for homeless New Yorkers living with AIDS/HIV. Ways to help: Rent the space, donate books, become a volunteer or shop!