All toilets

A Hunter College (Main Campus) (4.33/5)

695 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10065

Ah, my old Alma mater...and the Shangri-La of public bathrooms. Enter on Lex between 68th and 69th and ride the escalator to floors 1,2,3,4 or 5 for relatively private, clean, low traffic bathrooms (except when class lets out). No one asks you for ID, which as I write this, seems unsafe and odd, especially for New York. While you're there, take note of how young and happy everyone looks, breathe in the air of youthful aspiration, then reflect on how poorly your life turned out since leaving college!

B Five Guys (West Village) (4.00/5)

496 LaGuardia Pl, New York, NY 10012

Walk in with purpose and head straight back towards the counter. The bathroom is in the back left corner of the establishment and so far has been unlocked all the time. Don't hesitate to buy a burger while you're there because they have some of the best.

C Penn Station, Amtrak (2.00/5)

417 7th avenue, New York, NY 10001

The main bathroom at Penn station is located next to Houlihan's near the Amtrak waiting area and is quickly accessible from both uptown and downtown ACE trains by taking the staircase that is between the exit to the subway and the LIRR tracks. So now that you know how to find it we must recommend that you don't. It's filthy and the clientele is sketchy at best. It's fine for a quick piss (if you're a guy) but anything more than that and you will be praying for constipation. As you can see from the photo I wasn't able to document the actual fixture. The occupant of the single functional stall was holed up for longer than I could comfortably linger.

D McDonalds on Varick (4.67/5)

208 Varick Street, New York City, New York 10014

Pretty impressive for a McDonalds. Faux-marble, single occupancy, and actually clean! And none of that show-me-a-receipt-to-access-the-toilet nonsense. Enter on Downing street instead of Varick to avoid anyone at the counter. Although nobody seemed to mind I was solely there to take a McWiz.

E Times Square Information Center (5.00/5)

1560 Broadway, New York City, New York 10036<br /><br />Separate men's and women's room are on the right as you enter the building. If the door is locked, you can get the key from one of the desks inside the main hall of the visitor's center.

F Japan Society Gallery (5.00/5)

333 East 47th Street, New York City, New York 10017

Even the most public restroom averse person will love these bathrooms. Available downstairs and upstairs, they provide heated seats, bidet and dryer. Very decadent!!!

G John Jay College Barnes & Noble Bookstore? (4.00/5)

834 10th Ave?, New York, NY 10019

Ask for the bathroom key at the front desk. The bathroom is straight back towards the textbook section. It helps to learn criminal justice terminology like 'perp' before you enter — it will help you masquerade as a John Jay student and not arouse suspicion.

H Mé Bar (La Quinta Inn's Roof - 14th floor) (4.00/5)

17 W. 32nd Street, New York City, New York 10001

This bar is located on the top of the La Quinta Inn and as a result anyone is allowed to head to the 14th floor no questions asked. The bathroom is to the right of the elevator before you get to the bar so you don't run the risk of getting questioned. It's a single unisex bathroom so later in the evening the line will get long but it's clean and private and easy to get to.

I Lupes (1.33/5)

110 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10013

Unless you're going for a post-meal #1, this place is probably a skip. Although the food is really good. Especially the Spinach and Cheese Enchilada.

J McDonalds (7th & 1st Ave) (4.00/5)

102-106 1ST AVE, New York, NY 10009

Bathroom was surprisingly clean and very private. Granted this was at 10am on a Sunday and I don't think it had suffered any abuse yet. On an unrelated note, McDonalds now serves a fried chicken breakfast sandwich? Sick.

K The Metropolitan Museum of Art (3.00/5)

1000 5th avenue, New York City, New York 10028

As far as I know you need to pay admission to use any of the toilets here. There is a suggested donation but if you are really in need you can just choose to pay nothing and you will be let in. The closest bathrooms to the entrance are on the north end (the right hand side as you enter the building) of the main atrium just past the first exhibition room. Venture further in to the museum for more hidden and less busy bathrooms.

L Morimoto - Chelsea Market (4.00/5)

88 10th Ave, New York City, New York 10011

When you walk into the restaurant and are greeted by the host/hostess, just say you are going downstairs to the bar. Stairs are straight ahead. Once on the lower floor you'll be facing the bar. Break left to the restrooms. The stalls are pristine, and the toilets are extraordinary. The seats are heated, and a wall-mounted remote allows you to adjust seat positioning and bidet features.

M New York Burger Co. (4.00/5)

303 Park Ave S, New York City, New York 10010

Two single occupancy unisex bathrooms located in the back. Fairly clean with heavy deadbolt locks for Maximum Privacy Overkill. When you walk in, veer left past the counter. The place is usually pretty busy, so sneaking in exclusively for Bathroom Bizness is a breeze. And even when it's not busy, the staff won't care. While you're here, I'd recommend grabbing one of their tasty burgers. They cost twice as much as regular fast food joints, but they're easily twice as good and probably aren't all hopped up on cow steroids (i hope). I'm an especially big fan of all the cool dipping sauces. The mango curry for the fries is a must. Chicken sando's are deece-balls as well.

N AOL TimeWarner Center - Mandarin Oriental Hotel (4.67/5)

80 Columbus Circle, New York, NY 10023

These five star shitters are located in the Mandarin Oriental's 35th floor Sky Lobby. Just like any hotel lobby, any one can walk in; however, this lobby requires an elevator trip to the 35th floor. The views from the lobby are amazing - almost as amazing as wiping your hands on cloth towels rather than paper ones. The stalls are more like private rooms and are very spacious. As you would expect from a five star hotel - everything is kept cleanly and nice.

O The New York Public Llibrary - Ottendorfer Branch (1.00/5)

135 Second Avenue New York, NY 10003-8304. , New York City, New York 10003

very clean... people are very nice and are welcoming when someone asks for the bathroom.

P Ninja Village Restaurant (4.00/5)

25 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10013

This is the best toilet I have ever used in my life. They have an automated washer that cleans the front and back with a warm stream of water. Then to finish it off it has a dryer. I felt so refreshed!

Q Pier 11/Wall Street Pier (3.00/5)

11 E River Piers, New York, NY 10019

Located on Pier 11 inside the terminal is an adequate toilet intended for the use of people waiting for the water taxi or other various ferries which dock here. The pier is located one block down from the Wall Street/South Street intersection.

R Port Authority Bus Terminal (3.33/5)

625 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018

Port Authority Bus Terminal sports quality toilets which are just a few steps from either 8th or 9th avenue at 42nd street — near the NJ Transit ticket windows. The toilets are usually a mess from careless travelers but will do in a pinch.

S Pussycat Lounge (2.00/5)

96 Greenwich St, New York City, New York 10006

This is pretty much for novelty purposes only - there is a cover charge so unless you want to spend $10 to relieve yourself (and see some boobies) you may as well head somewhere else nearby. But if you have some cash burning in your pocket and want to see girls dance topless while they look at themselves in the mirror then this is the spot for you! The toilets are decent considering the nature of the location. I'd avoid sitting down though unless it's an emergency... sorry ladies.

T Public Park Toilet (East 10th street and FDR) (3.33/5)

East 10th street and FDR, New York City, New York 10009

This is an average park toilet. Nothing to brag about but could come in handy if you're walking along the East River. It's located in a small building in between the walking path and the river.

U Rusty Knot (4.00/5)

425 West St, New York City, New York 10014

Rusty Knot is a great bar with great food and two single occupancy toilets located directly in front of the entrance behind the pool tables. It's usually easy to get in to and no one will think twice if you head straight towards the bathrooms. On your way out be sure to choose a song off their free juke box. Phil Collins is a nightly favorite.

V Soho Made Soups (3.33/5)

75 Varick St, New York, NY 10013

Bathroom is located in the back and can be accessed without having to ask anyone. Bathroom is a unisex single and gets fairly low traffic. Side note: Salads here are really good. Soups are okay. Service is terrrrrible. Totally disorganized and chaotic ordering / paying procedure. Plus, when you order an egg and cheese in the morning, the cashier opens up the tinfoil with his dirty fingers to see what you ordered. Hey idiots, heres an idea: Have the cook write the order on the sandwich's wrapper like every other deli on earth.

Starbucks (9th st & 2nd Ave) (3.00/5)

145 2nd Avenue , New York, NY 10003

This particular Starbucks is pretty low traffic, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for your turn in The Thunderdome. When our cameras documented the facilities, the bathroom was pretty busted, but usually this place isn't too bad...for a Starbucks.

Starbucks (Allen & Delancey) (4.00/5)

80 Delancey, New York, NY 10002

This your standard issue S-bucks, although slightly cleaner than most. Single occupancy, medium weight time, and probably warrants a hover. Bathroom is located in the seated area, away from the counter, so users should feel no shame. Not that anyone does at Starbucks.

Starbucks (Astor Place) (4.00/5)

13-25 Astor Place, New York, NY 10003

This is it. The belly of the beast. Crowded, dirty, and always a wait. This John's only redeeming qualities are it's single occupancy (for maximum privacy) and a non-existent "customer's only" bathroom policy.

Starbucks (39th street and 8th ave) (3.00/5)

600 8th Ave, New York, NY 10018

This bathroom is in generally poor condition considering the usual Starbucks standards. There may not be toilet paper depending on the time of day. The plus sides are a prime location that is just enough out of the way as to minimize the line to get in to the bathroom.

Staten Island Ferry Terminal (1.00/5)

70 Whitehall street, New York, NY 10004

The bathrooms here are located on the upper floor where the waiting area for the ferry is. They're in decent shape and maintained on a regular basis however at times they can be very high traffic.

Fiddlesticks Bar (4.00/5)

56 Greenwich Ave, New York, NY 10011

Fiddlesticks is a quality bar and the toilets mirror the standard found throughout the establishment. Toilets are on the 2nd floor which is accessed by the staircase behind the bar. Overcrowding is avoided by maintaining a large amount of pristine fixtures. Special thanks to 'L' for pics of the ladies' room.

Lower East Side Tenement Museum (4.33/5)

108 Orchard Street, New York City, New York 10002

Besides having an excellent selection of coffee table books and souvenirs that you actually want to buy, the gift shop has a well maintained bathroom that is free to the public. The bathroom was as I remember nicely scented and single-stalled. The wait before the paying-tours can be two or three women deep, but due to space limitations and entertaining material around, lines don't form very deep because people can browse a book while keeping an eye on the status of the bathroom line. At least you don't have to stand there thinking that you have to pee. An annoyance that most women have to go through either at Barnes and Noble, (no books around since its separated by a theft detector and usually down a hall), at music concerts and sports stadiums (the worst, no reading material, everyone has to go at the boring periods, set changes, half-time, ect). It is nice to go in look at their merchandise without buying anything, because most of the people there are just milling about waiting for their tour to start, and its easy to mix-in without appearing that you are just going there to use their bathroom.

Vintage (4.67/5)

753 9th Ave, New York City, New York 10019

These 2 private bathrooms are very clean and spacious with bonus air freshener provided! The bathrooms are in the back on the left wall which is shielded by a curtain which enhances the overall privacy. You should have no problem strolling to the back to take care of business.